Leading Ways: Quick Six

There are a many situations where a leader needs to make a quick assessment of what is happening and decide a course of action. The Quick Six is a handy way of running through important considerations when you are scrambling to make a decision.

1. Consider the relationship — Before any action is taken, it is always important to consider the relationship  at stake in the interaction. Relationships are an essential dynamic of leadership. They are forged, improved, and sometimes damaged or destroyed in these critical moments. Ask yourself these questions: How important is my relationship with the other person or group to achieving my goals, now and in the future? Is this a short-term relationship or will we be working on projects long after this issue is over? How does the other party see and value this relationship? Is this a reciprocal relationship? Or is the unevenness so extreme as to damage the quality or our work together? Do we see this relationship in similar ways or is there an imbalance that could be detrimental? Is the status quo of this relationship good enough or could we both benefit from it getting better? There is never complete information in any of these Quick Six considerations, but framing the relationship situation and issues can improve your effectiveness as a leader.

2. Assess power — Any assessment of a situation must include a cold, hard look at power, as it can have a dramatic influence immediately. It can disrupt what we want to achieve as a leader, regardless if we are leading up, out, or down. Power comes in many forms, but one useful way to think about it is whether it is formal power, often structural or political in its nature, or informal power, which covers a broad array of things, including specialty knowledge, persuasiveness, experience, relationship capital, and the ability to withdraw effort. Some questions to ask regarding power are:  Who has the power now? Is it formal or informal? The formal power is easier to see, but getting a clear understanding of the informal power is often more useful in improving our understanding of a situation. Is power in a state of flux? This often means is the environment changing in a way that will lead to a shift in power. And, is this a time when the leader might gain more power because of this flux? Will my actions lead to a loss of power that I am unwilling to sustain at this time?

3. Gauge quality — The shorthand for the third consideration is the quality of what is at stake. By this we mean whether the path that has been chosen, through either a decision, negotiation, or course of action, is technically the correct path or not. Often it seems matters should be able to be resolved in a rational, data driven or scientific manner. But even with the most rarified scientific issues the answers are often not obvious. There are better and worse courses we might take, but the final decision is likely to lie with intuition, power, tradition, or just chance as it is with a knowable set of technically correct data. Some questions to ask in the context of quality are: What data do we have and how reliable is it? The data is objective, but is the interpretation that is being presented? Has the context of what we are doing changed since the data was originally collected? Technical correctness of any action or decision is often in the eye of the actor or decider. Smart leaders use the Quick Six framework to check the veracity of what has been presented, even if they are doing the presenting.

4. Determine importance — Deeply integrated with the quality of an action or decision is the importance of what is under consideration. If something is technically the correct thing to do but is of little importance, it may dramatically change the assessment of the situation. There are two important contexts in which to consider importance. The first is the importance to the team, department, agency, or organization. Is this issue mission critical? Is there some threat if this is not accomplished? How do others in the organization, particularly the leadership, feel about this issue, problem, concern, or opportunity? The other dimension is how important is this matter to me. Is your ego heavily invested in this decision or course of action? How has this ownership colored your judgement around the level of importance and even your sense of the quality of the decisions that have been reached?

5. Weigh time — An assessment of a situation needs to include an awareness of the time horizon against which decisions need to be made. If time allows, it will almost always improve the quality of the outcome. Some questions to explore are: Who is driving the timetable for this and what are their interests? Are there legitimate and objective reasons to slow or quicken this process? What relationship gains will I possibly secure by a delay and what is the value of this added level of engagement with others? Are there other values that can be enhanced by a delay, such as better data, better understanding of consequences, or exploration of other options? Any delay is likely to produce better data, more buy-in, and a richer set of options. The critical question is what the real value of these is and if they make an impact in any significant way in the outcome. 

6. Consider necessary buy-in — Finally, the Quick Six asks that you take a few minutes to consider the amount of buy-in that will be needed in the undertaking by all relevant stakeholders. The first step here is being aware of who these individuals or groups are and relatively how essential they are to the process and ultimate success. Involvement and collaboration are important, but they are also costly. Active consideration of the buy-in dimension can let the leader provide the proper amount of time and effort to invest in a decision or implementation process. More engagement can dramatically improve the quality of what is being considered, but it can also splinter the options into a miasma of choices and actually reduce the value and slow the process.

The Quick Six can be used in anticipation of a meeting, conflict, negotiation, or decision. The analysis provides a good foundation upon which to build other considerations. It is also focused enough to be useful in real-time interactions, not only providing a valuable frame for analysis and action, but also as a way to relieve some of the stress of the moment.

Leading Ways: Emotional Intelligence

**Needs superscripting

First used in a 1964 article addressing the ways of communicating emotional meaning, the concept of emotional intelligence would later take on more visibility during the mid 1980s with Howard Gardner’s Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences.1 where he explores the idea that humans have many different types of intelligences and how each of these interact. In the 1990’s Dan Goleman gave EI a harder edge distinction from typical intelligence and technical ability and popularized the idea linking it to success in a variety of settings including leadership and business.2 

Since then there has been a continued discussion as to whether EI is a set of traits that underlie and make up a part of individual personality, or an application which is more focused on how EI insights are used by individuals to be effective actors. There is also a “mixed” model that doesn’t look for purity of one or the other but draws on both to produce a framework for assessing and improving human social interactions. 

For our leadership considerations there are four essential dimensions of EI that can be used for improving leadership effectiveness. These have a linear quality about them, but real emotional intelligence is fluid and allows space to create a capacity for continuous interaction and growth. 

Self-Awareness 

The first dimension of emotional intelligence is self-awareness. With a rich set of meanings and traditions in philosophy and psychology it is no surprise that self-awareness and EI are strongly connected. For our purposes here, self-awareness is the quality of being conscious of yourself as an actor in a social situation. 

In leadership situations, specific dimensions of this awareness are particularly important. The first is a sense of your leadership style. Are you inclusive or more of an independent leader? Do you see and value the “big picture” or are you more focused on the details and implications of small actions? Are you more reflective and thoughtful or more expressive and engaging? You may be effective as a leader on any side of these pairings, but it is likely that one will seem more comfortable or natural to you. 

Beyond style, leaders also possess a set of strengths and weaknesses relevant to their leadership responsibilities. Are you a strong communicator? Are these strengths of communication equally strong in both one-on-one conversations and in large group presentations? Do you have deep technical knowledge related to your leadership role? Have you the benefit of outside perspectives or have you mastered a particular set of analytical tools? Are you a good judge of people? How effective are you at developing and motivating others? What happens to your emotions when there is a great deal of conflict? Many of these qualities may fit into your leadership style or at least inform it, and they are more independent and objective than the aggregate sense of style. 

A by-product of both your style and your strengths and weaknesses, is how you are perceived by others. How do others see you in your role as a leader? In one type of organization a person who has a humble demeanor and more of a “servant” leader style might be highly valued and trusted. In another, perhaps more competitive setting, this same person might be seen as weak and ineffective. Knowing what others think is important for a truly emotionally intelligent actor. 

Your self-awareness is also boosted by your understanding of what you like and shun in a work setting. These preferences may shape where you spend time and energy and may be stumbling blocks that blur the focus on what is most important for the success of your leadership. For instance, you might avoid matters of personal conflict and fail to raise an issue that needs to come to someone’s attention. Or you may overspend effort working with outside constituents because you are good at it and fail to invest adequately in developing internal resources. 

All leaders have aspirations and ambitions and the more insight you have into yours the higher your level of EI. Aspiration is the desire to achieve a high or laudable goal. Ambition is the desire for status, rank and power. Both are often found in leaders, but they are different qualities. Understanding this difference and which of the two is more important will help enrich your self- awareness. 

To have self-awareness it is also important to have a good sense of where your values lie and how and when you trade them against each other. Values can be situational, but the exercise of listing what is important and then discussing it with someone who knows you well can be revealing. 

We all fear things of one sort or another, and fear can have a large influence on leadership. Sometimes these fears are from the distant past, but fears may also arise from the immediate context of your work. These fears drive your leadership behavior in ways that are both positive and negative. The challenge of the self-aware leader is to surface these fears if they are hidden, understand them and where they come from, look honestly at how they impact work and gain some measure of control over them to enhance their positive contributions while minimizing or eliminating the negative impact they may be having. 

Finally, a self-aware leader will understand the ebb and flow of their immediate emotional state, such as, “I’m a little down today because of some changes in my personal life” or, “I’m counting on that emotional burst of energy that will come from finishing this project”, being able to both use and control them as needed for leadership effectiveness. There is as well the awareness of deeper psychological states such as a deep-seated inability to trust others or an exuberance for new things that may go well beyond what is warranted. Knowing these elements of our self and either changing them or accommodating them always makes a leader more effective. 

The basis of wisdom from ancient Greece onwards has been to know one’s self. It is a daunting challenge, but it is also the basis of leadership wisdom that is emotionally intelligent. 

Other Awareness 

“When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.” 3 Hemingway’s advice to a young writer 

Our quest to be emotionally intelligent now shifts from ourselves to the other: a person, a group, a profession, or an organization. How do we move beyond our perceptions of self with all of its heuristics that lead to bias and enter a mode of welcoming the stranger? There is a growing body of evidence that our biology disposes us to connect to others and to be understood and return this favor.4 The beginning of this is through other-awareness and this involves as much work, if not more, than being self-aware. 

Many of the same qualities that we want to know about ourselves we will need to understand in the other person as well to have true emotional intelligence. You will need to be curious about their style as a leader, their strengths and weaknesses, how others see them, their ambition and dreams, their values and fears. Learning about the qualities that others have, not to be judgmental, but to contrast and understand, gives us insight in how better to relate ourselves to the others that we work with. 

We all have an ego, and it is why starting with self-awareness is so important. When you meet another person, especially in a work or leadership setting, you will encounter their ego as well and there are some other things you will want to know about the person in this context. Egocentricity is how much the person in front of you is focused on themselves and their desires, and how open they are to understanding others. If there is not much openness from them then a shared agenda may not be possible and your strategy for working with them will need to change. 

Beyond their ego and its hold on them, we also want to make an assessment of what educators call the “it” factor. Just how savvy, adaptive, aware and attuned are they? Do they seem to get the little jokes at the start of the conversation? Can they move the conversation to the next topic or next level? Are they attentive to my needs with what our grandmothers would have called “good manners?” 

You also want to discover and build whatever common ground there is between you. It might be mutual friends, a common experience, graduate school or a particular workplace, or maybe you are from the same part of the country. It does not have to be a lot but looking for shared experiences will build shared identity that can carry over to the work you need to share. From the outset of our encounter they will be sending all sorts of non-verbal messages and you will want to be attuned to what is coming your way. Do they seem comfortable or is there some anxiety about them? Is there an openness when they are listening or do they exhibit caution? These messages can be conveyed in facial expressions, gestures, eye contact, voice modulation, dress, and artifacts such as office décor. 

Additionally, the meaning of language is rarely just the words we speak, and to be fully aware of the other you will want to listen carefully and unpack their words for deeper messages. A good set of active listening skills is essential here, but the first rule is to remember that listening does not mean waiting to talk. Projecting understanding of what they are saying in your thoughts, asking questions to clarify, asking for examples and acknowledging when you see something differently, but in a manner that accepts their truth, are all ways to be more actively engaged with their talk and to take away a deeper awareness of them. 

While knowing self-awareness is important, knowing the other is essential. Without the substance of the other we run the risk in becoming lost in our own egocentric world which has limited horizons and is destined as such to never arrive at a valuable social intelligence. 

Situational Awareness 

Humans have evolved with the abilities to assess social situations and make an assessment for safety or danger. But these qualities developed in a slower, more familiar tribal setting and can be challenged in the modern world where life moves faster and is more complex. Recognizing what is needed in the moment is essential to being emotionally intelligent. For our purposes this situational awareness has three basic elements. 

The first is an awareness of what is going on in front of us in real time. This starts with both self and other awareness, but expands to include the setting, cultural context, history of interactions, other impeding events, and your understanding of the agenda, formal or informal, for the engagement. There is a pattern that you come to expect in each engagement. Even with a new encounter, when your experience varies from expectation, it becomes an important part of your awareness and informs the next phase of the process. 

As your perceptions are shaping your awareness, they are also leading you to judgments about what is happening. These assessments lead to understanding of the situation. For instance, you may have projected that informing a client or team member of a new opportunity for them would be met with enthusiasm and excitement, instead you perceive that the news is causing them some anxiety and that is moving toward a reaction that looks like hostility and withdrawal. You now understand the situation differently and can project it into the future with some predictive qualities. In the situation above you might conclude that you could force the issue, but without their active buy-in and engagement you may risk damage to the relationship, and now have the option to choose a different path. 

A convenient tool for making these assessments is the quick six of considerations: power – what is it, who has it, both formal and informal; relationship – is it good or bad, important or not, short or long term, good as it is or needs to be better; quality – is there a technically correct answer or a clearly better path that is understood and shared; importance – where does this fall in the priorities of the organization’s mission, is it critical or just nice to have, and what is the importance of this to me (also spelled ego); time - can we work some more on this or does it need to move now; buy-in – how much engagement do I need from them or can I go it alone? Of course, these six interact constantly in your assessment of the situation making them more complex and there are 

always other matters at play, but I find the quick six to be a good foundation to begin an assessment of a situation or to frame beforehand if the opportunity allows. 

Because the hard wiring to respond to our environment resides deeply in our emotional domain, while the choice of a better path lies more in our reasoning capacity, it is important to recognize both and determine the impact on us by balancing reason and emotion. Recognizing a threatening move by another person is an important part of assessment. Understanding how we might best respond to achieve our desired outcome allows us to make sense of what is happening and more importantly what it means, which now informs our emotional intelligence on how we should act. 

Self-Management 

The three preceding elements of emotional intelligence are matters that mostly go on in our head. But as Wordsworth reminds us in Tintern Abbey that the best portions of any good life are the “little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love.” It is the actions that we take that will be the ways in which emotional intelligence marks us with others. 

A first step toward right action is knowing and accepting the self of which we are now more aware. This does not mean that you should not be working to improve yourself in constructive ways, but instead looking at yourself in the bigger picture. Looking at our upside and downside will allow for a more authentic approach with others as well as a more human understanding and acceptance of their strengths and weaknesses. 

In this regard it is also useful to be open about yourself with others. This should be done carefully, no one wants to know everything about us, but building a capacity to be more transparent enlists others in our quest of self-management, makes us feel more genuine and creates a context for more accountability. 

To regulate yourself will be important to have a good sense of short and long term aims and a capacity to balance the two. In this regard it will always be useful to have an appreciation of how your impulse control mechanism and temper work. While our own self-awareness may give us these insights, looking for others to shed and outside perspective may help in seeing them more clearly, and understanding when and where they come from. 

While it may seem like the balance of short and long terms aims is a given, it can be useful to have a comprehensive picture of what success looks like when deciding what 'right actions' to take. This exercise gives us a chance to have an aspirational goal, examine it from how we think others will see it, and also give some insight into the trade-offs that we or others might need to consider going forward. This can also be a good question to build common ground and trust among team members. 

Controlling your impulses and temper will be greatly aided by adding two qualities to your leadership skills. The first is a mindfulness practice. This should be something that speaks to you and can become a regular part of your day, therefor it needs to be something that you have time to dedicate to. Some leaders find a meditation regimen works to raise mindfulness. Others find yoga or regular exercise work well. Sometimes just taking breaks to get outside, reserving time for reflection daily, or even breathing slowly into the moment can work. The path should be yours, but it is an essential part of self-management. 

The second quality is developing an attitude of curiosity rather than judgment. Curiosity allows us to continue learning and keeps out minds open to new possibilities. This is greatly aided by the type of listening discussed above but carries it a step further and is more engaged than even active listening. As a leader you do not surrender any of your responsibilities or even power, but they are channeled in a way that actively engages the other person or group in a consideration of a collective success. Hard decisions and steps are still taken, but there is more engagement in this approach then emotional reactions or telling others about their reality.5 

Two tactical considerations when managing yourself are knowing your body and being able to walk away gracefully. Emotional intelligence involves the right balance of the mind and heart. When they are in conflict, we have a visceral reaction that locates somewhere in our body, a stomachache, flushing neck, throbbing temple, tightening jaw, or scrunching shoulders. Whatever yours is, you should be aware of it and also recognize that this symbol might go off before you realize what is going on. When this happens, you need to be prepared and ready to walk away until things can return to the right balance. A practiced statement with these core elements (but in your words) is good to have at hand: “This seems really important to both or all of us. I feel myself getting a little triggered emotionally here and I know that is not good. Can I ask that we take a break and get back to this soon?” Then schedule the time right then. 

Finally, self-management is greatly aided if the rest of your life is in good proportion. Is your work-life balance something that supports you and your family. Do you get regular exercise? Have a healthy diet? Do you do other things than work, hobbies, sports, travel? Without efforts along these lines, and some success, it will be hard be as fully emotionally intelligent as you want to be. 

“To accept one’s past- one’s history- is not the same thing as drowning in it: it is learning how to use it.” 

James Baldwin, The Fire Next Time 

1 Gardner, H. (1983). Frames of mind. New York: Basic Books. 

2 Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence. New York, NY, England: Bantam Books, Inc. 

3 Malcolm Cowley, "Mister Papa", LIFE magazine January 10, 1949, Volume 26, No. 2, p. 90. 

4 Liberman, M. (2013). Social. Crown Publishers: New York. 

5 Schein E. (2013). Humble Inquiry. Berrett-Kohler: Oakland, CA. 

Leading Ways: Developing and Using Vision

For a while now I have used a basic leadership formula that my friend and colleague George Sweazey and I develop more than two decades ago. The formula is Leadership occurs when you mix Vision with Task and the right amount of Relationship, or L=V*T*R; all necessary and none sufficient.

Vision is what we typically think of that is distinctively leader-like; a relationship is always about two-thirds of the relevant action and task is what we default to when the vision is murky or the relationships have begun to replicate open warfare or we need the organizational therapy of just doing something.

Lately, most of the leadership work I’ve been doing has been focused on a relationship or task concerns and I realize I’ve gotten a bit away from vision work. So, this month’s missive is a review of some practical points about the vision for leaders, how to develop it and how to use it.

What is it?

There are many ways to define the vision, but basically it is a coherent direction for an organization, unit, project, team and even an individual. Humans like to understand things and we have evolved a strong taste for order and predictability, this comes from our skill at pattern recognition. Vision helps us value what lies ahead because we can see it in our minds. And when needed, it can also help us detach from the current pattern and take up the new innovative one.

Vision does three types of work for the leader. First, it defines. Vision helps us understand what we do. How what we have done is changing or must change as the world around us shifts. It clarifies and holds up our values, oftentimes needing to show how the values take on new looks as times change. Vision also defines the strategies that will take us in the direction we need to go.

This definitional work is essential to the next function: alignment. For most of us we are aligning the work of a particular unit, department, clinic, or function to the overall organization.  A vision also aligns the future work of the organization to be consistent with that vision. It becomes a reference point informing future actions of individuals and, perhaps more importantly, making the collective action of teams and workgroups easier and more effective, because a common direction, purpose and motivation have been established. It is also a signaling mechanism to external stakeholders about direction, strategies and values. It lets them know if they should cast their lot with us.

Vision must also motivate and inspire action. Several elements need to be combined to move the projected image into action. Future goals should be practical and imaginable; not distant and farfetched. John Kennedy’s classic vision of sending someone to the moon and bringing them home was an outlandish projection, but it was done in a way that made it seem possible that it might be successfully engineered. To be inspiring the vision must also connect to the underlying culture and values of those that must be moved to action. To get most individuals engaged with the work of a team or organization it is essential for them to know how they add value to the work that is being done and that they understand and believe in the ultimate value of the work.

Visions are usually about change. Humans change because of fear or lust. Good visions combine these two with the right balance for your particular challenge.

There are five elements that go into having a vision.

Mission – The mission is the leader’s understanding of the purpose of the organization. Often found in a mission statement, it is actually much more fluid than many people would like to think, and it can take several forms. There is of course the generic conventional mission.  A pharmaceutical firm might exist to make a return on investment for its shareholders. A state agency might exist to serve the health care needs of the citizens of the state. A more telling response to mission is the one that has been lived by a particular organization to meet that conventional mission. In our examples, the traditional mission for a particular pharma firm might be to bring “innovations to drug discovery through the latest developments in biological research” and a state agency might “provide comprehensive health care through a network of trusted provider partners.” The third dimension of this work might be called the aspirational mission, a bit more on this later as we see how mission evolves and inform vision.

Environmental awareness – An essential part of a leader’s vision is her ability to understand what is happening around the organization: environmental awareness. Different from the more immediate and tactical situational awareness, perspective into longer-term and more global developments shape environmental awareness. Too much focus on the here and now creates organizational myopia and the leader will miss opportunities and threats that are coming their way. Too broad or far-reaching and the leader’s pronouncements become more hallucinogenic than helpful, because few, if any, will be able to see themselves or the organization in the cloud cuckoo land that seems like pure fantasy. So, balance is key to good environmental awareness and this comes from seeing the issues, but also understanding how they will be understood by the incumbents in the organization.

Some leaders do this dimension of visioning easily, they are naturally curious about the world and how it is changing. Their challenge will be how to interpret these opportunities or threats so that they get traction and how to translate them into actionable plans. They need not do this themselves, but they will need to empower others and, at times, cease and desist with the big new ideas and blinding insights and let things get done. The leadership obverse to this is the individual who is great at the actionable plan, lives in the immediate world, but may not be blessed with constant epiphanies. They will need to use their leadership position and role to convene others in settings where these insights can be gleaned. They do not need to have the vision themselves, but they do need to recognize its essential value and ensure that it is given time and resources to be present.

Vision reconsidered – I will grant that it is odd that one part of this vision definition in five parts is called “vision reconsidered” but let me explain. Each of these elements is one dimension of what it takes for a leader to be thought of as successfully visionary. Vision reconsidered is the same thing that I referred to earlier as the aspirational vision. These are the steps to developing this.  First, ask the question: what have our mission and values been conventionally and traditionally? Second question is, how is the world around us changing, what is most important among these changes and how will they impact what we do and how we do it? Final question: given one and two, how should our mission and direction change, anchoring enough in the past for continuity, but tacking into the challenges of the future in a way to still be valuable.

The consultant’s story of how the railroads missed the automotive and aeronautical revolutions because they were still set on a mission as a railroad company is a way to see the value of the aspirational vision. Or, more contemporaneously, how Microsoft got too wedded to being a software company, Walmart too taken with being a big-box retailer and Apple too concerned with the tool in your hand and not the array of life-changing services that are accessed. All of this disintermediation from cars to the cloud was out there for all to see, but leadership of the established institution missed them because they were in their “mission” bubble.

Strategy – It is one thing to get the vision correct and another to be the leader that can also set and sequence the strategies to turn the organization to meet the new opportunity. Without strategies to move forward the vision will be seen as a failure.

There are many ways to develop and share strategies. There can be content-oriented such as program change, finance, human resources or technology. It often makes sense to divide strategies into short and long-term. And while it is important that strategic directions be formalized so that they can be full understood and accountabilities assigned, it is essential that they be recognized as evolving. General Eisenhower once observed that the “plan is nothing, planning is everything.”

Working with Bobbi Kimball during the nursing shortage in the late nineties, we develop a four-part division and sequence for strategies that I still like. In any situation there are short-term strategies that meet immediate threats, offer quick turn arounds to engage the organization. They may not have staying power, but they are essential. A lot of organizations never make it out of this limited horizon or as we called them “scramble” strategies. In the nursing shortage these strategies would have been things like giving students larger stipends and tuition waivers to attend school or quickly moving LVNs to RNs. No dramatic change in the structure, just a quick fix, but if leadership can hold these to under 60 percent of the overall strategic effort, then they have been heroic.

Next along the curve in terms of time and effort are the strategies to “improve.” Some dimension of the organization isn’t working, but still is essential, it takes time to enhance the way it is working, but the pay-off is likely to be longer-term and more impactful as well. For the nursing shortage this might have involved examining the teaching-learning process to make sure that students had the best chance for a successful completion of the program.

Beyond improvement is “reinvention.” This involves some fundamental reorganization or reconsideration of the standard process. For the nursing shortage of that era, the creation of re-entry masters programs for those with non-nursing baccalaureate degrees is a prime example. If both improve and reinvent can hit 30 percent combined with your strategic effort, then you get advanced leadership standing.

But that leaves 10 percent. This final category we called “start-over” and in the nursing shortage it would focus on ways that nursing care and service might be performed by patients or families, ways other hospital services might be substituted for traditional nursing care and ways to use technology to extend the work of other health professionals to provide nursing care. This is a long-term strategic investment but should never be more than the 10 percent of the overall effort.

I think that as a part of vision the best strategic plans are a mix of the emergent and intentional, are nimble, adaptive and opportunistic, have clear goals and expected impact on the organization and are continuously assessed, reshaped and redeployed as needed.

OPS – You don’t usually see a sub-heading for operations in a discussion of vision, but I think it is important for leaders to understand the role that a visibly and meaningfully integrated operations plan supporting the strategies, that support the vision can mean to the overall organization.

I sometimes refer to this as the “vision or strategy cascade.” Someone new to the organization, a potential new partner or an old hand in the organization should be able to hear the messaging from the mission and vision, point to relevant changes in the environment, recognize the deliberate and emerging strategies and assess the operational plans that are being pursued and what is left on the shelf and see a coherent whole that cascades from one level to another. This type of organization coherence is powerful because it makes the vision real at all levels and it informs the actions of everyone throughout the enterprise.

Having “vision” is not one thing, but a mixed bag of knowledge, insight, perspectives, and actions. 

Leading Ways: Some General Rules for Uncertain Times

Bill was one of the most effective agency heads the state had ever had. He had risen quickly through the ranks with a series of successful leadership assignments that not only accomplished great things, but also left him with an admiring network of leaders throughout the capital and in his leadership team. But his first real setback was a big, and very public, failure around the roll out of a new public-private partnership that not only failed to deliver, but had some serious accusations. These accusations were not against Bill, but were against his private sector partners of self-dealing. His “golden touch” reputation was more than a little tarnished. Not having any experience with adversity, he didn’t know how to respond and walled himself off from his network and even his own team. He was suddenly taking every opportunity to travel out of state to any location where “the questions would cease.”

Liz had a very different problem. Her department had just made a very important discovery that led to the CEO of the corporation using the department’s success as the best example of where the entire company needed to go in the future and promising that he would be investing significantly in this work. Everyone on her team was ready for the circus to come to town with something for everyone. Wish lists were dusted off and began to appear on her desk. She wanted to be sure that she moved in just the right way, so she thought she would just let them enjoy all of the good news while she took the time to make some decisions about redirecting their work. She didn’t notice that every day she failed to communicate something led to more distrust, anxiety and withdrawal by the very people she thought were enjoying the moment.

Whether they are good or bad, uncertain times can be very dislocating for any organization. It might be a new organizational leader, potential lay-offs, a change of policy at the corporate or national level, a challenging new program, a disappointing outcome, or the loss of a key team member. When your universe gets hit with one of these wrinkles of uncertainty it is important to respond in the right way. Here are some steps that I have found useful:

1. Be Present - There is a sort of physical presence that is needed during an uncertain period. This is not a good time to be absent if at all possible. If the disruption is an opportunity, it is likely to come with some increased travel demands to fully secure it. If the change is not so positive, you may be tempted to take more than your usual number of days away to get a break from the situation. Resist this in either case; physically being there, even if some things move a little slower or get delegated or you have to sit through the angst, is important to keep all engaged in the right way. In addition, you will need to be fully engaged with them emotionally by being aware of what is going on with them and the changes.

2. Be Transparent –This does not mean that you talk endlessly and speculatively about the situation. It does mean that as information comes to you, time is taken to share it with your team, group and organization. Letting people know that you will be as open as possible does not mean completely transparent as some information may be highly speculative, sensitive, or not for broad public consumption. A commitment to more and more open communication will likely mean that there will be more formal time dedicated to sharing this information. This is a great opportunity to encourage more direct questions from the team, a candid response from the leader and more practice of saying, “that is a good question, but I cannot fully respond right now, but I will when I know or understand more.”  It is essential that you focus on what is known, not the fear driven gossip and speculation that will be most of what is discussed. If there are rumors that emerge and seem to have taken on a life of their own, address them quickly, directly and candidly. Do not speculate on the source, just be as clear as possible about what is the case.

3. Be Positive – Uncertainty is easier if you deal with what is known and you are able to indicate faith in whatever process is being pursued. If you have a positive attitude, others will focus on this for coherence in dissonant times. It will be important to remind team members that they have done and currently do good work. Their good work has value for them and their professional life, independent of what might come out of the process. Do not be overly or widely optimistic about the future, this will make your positive attitude seem unrealistic and thereby discounted and devalued.

4. Be Empathetic – Many people who report to you are your peers and they will have feelings which range from being distraught to mildly anxious. This will impact their work and probably change some of the patterns that you have become accustomed to. There are two things that you can do that will be helpful for them. First, acknowledge your own disease with the developments. Directly and discreetly say, “yes, this troubles me as well.” Then tell them what you are doing about it. Share whatever is on your list of coping strategies, i.e. - remaining positive, doing the work you control, exercising, sharing with a few others, trying to see it in the larger context, reflecting on all of the good work the team has done in the past. Second, when uncertainty is at hand, you can help by being an understanding person and remembering that this is a unique situation, and try to suspend judgement about them or what is driving them. It will help immensely if you take the time to sit with them one to one and indicate that they seem stressed and offer them a chance to talk. Encourage them to stick to the known facts, not speculations, and to affirm all of the positive dimensions of the current reality.

5. Be Self-aware – You may see it better than most and be following all of the rules above and fail to see that the anxiety is creeping in on you as well. You need to be mindful of this; particularly if you are in a situation in which you are “taking care” of others. When you feel an emotional response welling up do not deny it or explain it away. Experience it and then ask yourself if this is rational, not in the immediate moment, but in the larger context of your life and career.  Be sure to share your feelings and anxieties with a partner either at work or at home. At home, there will be similar anxieties and it will not help if you do not mention them. Talk about them in the way you deal with other problems. Hopefully you have a good work – life balance. This is a time when you will need to call on those life resources including partners, family, friends, avocations, and exercise. At a time when work may seem to be at risk, don’t let it further become the only focus of your life.

6. Remember what you have learned in leadership class -This will also be a good time to dust off the MBTI and FIRO-B reports. In times of stress you will go to your preferences whereas countervailing preferences may in fact be what is needed for the situation. For instance: 

   • Extroverts might gossip too much.

   • Introverts might not talk enough about the situation.

   • iNtuitives might try to get the big picture when it is not possible at this time.

   • Sensors might focus on irrelevant details and draw too much from them.

   • Thinkers may focus too much on the work at hand and not see the walking wounded need to talk.

   • Feelers might spend a little too much caring for everyone.

   • Judgers might start making all kinds of decisions that really need to be postponed.

   • Perceivers might take a holiday from any decisions, even those that are needed.

7. Be Proactive – Even if you follow every suggestion it will not keep you from periods of anxiety. When they occur, give yourself some grace and allow that it is happening to everyone. But don’t let the “black dog” pull you into the fight. Rather direct the energy to work that needs to be done, regardless of what finally shakes out in the organization. There are always things that you and your team control regardless of the swirl that is happening. Get yourself focused on what you can do, do it, and invite others to join you and celebrate the successes- even in a world that has turned a bit upside down. This is what drives your work and what you enjoy. Place the energy somewhere it is useful, and you will be a good role model for others.

Leading Ways: Developing Others

One of the traits of all successful leaders is the ability to develop others around them. These efforts produce an abundant return for the leader and the organization, but I’m always surprised at how little attention it gets from many leaders. The rewards are indeed compound. First, you get colleagues that have a richer set of skills and are more confident in the use of those skills. Second, your commitment to them to be fully engaged with their development is one of the most powerful motivational tools available. Third, delegation is so much easier if it is done in the context of a development plan that I think it is essential to work on both at the same time. Fourth, your ability to influence down will be deeply enhanced if a fundamental part of the relationship is based on your commitment to their development. Finally, if you commit to developing them, then you do not have to do anything else for succession planning. It comes as a freebee in the process.

One action – a commitment to development – produces all of the above. And, if you work it for a bit and with sincerity, the person you are developing will actually start to drive this development agenda for both of you.

Most leaders want to develop their people or even feel like they are, but the reality is that they are not systematic in their efforts and end up wasting more time and sometimes even working at cross purposes to what they want to achieve.

I think a commitment to each direct report of three hours a year, done in an informed and formal manner is all that is required of calendar time to accomplish this. But it has to be done in the right way and with the mindful engagement by the boss or supervisor.

Over the years I’ve developed some material to support leaders in this essential task. I’ve recently updated and edited all of these resources and this version of Leading Ways provides a framework for developing others as well as links to these other resources. As a beginner, you might want to take a look at the updated Guide for Motivation, Development, Delegation and Succession Planning and the General Guide to Mentoring linked here.

Here are five steps to improving your development skills. They are reviewed below with links to resources to assist you in building a strong set of development skills.

1. Know Yourself - The first step is to understand what you bring to the process of developing others. What are the particular ways that you approach the world, interact with people, get inspiration and insight, do your work, and channel your drive and energy? Being a successful mentor, coach and supervisor that can develop others are driven by how well you understand, accept, change when needed, and effectively use yourself to achieve the goals of working with others. Developing this self-knowledge is an essential step in being a good mentor. Reflecting on How You Develop Others provides a few self-assessment questions to assist you in assessing your skills focusing attention on your own development.

2. Build the Relationship - Good mentoring involves more than just the technical process of sharing information. It is fundamentally about developing a solid and supportive relationship in which information can be shared both ways in a trusting and supportive manner. Without this relationship dimension, the very best insights and observations about another person’s development will be wasted because without trust the messages will not be heard, fully understood, or valued. It is the strength of this relationship that allows you to give constructive input and be heard. Without this, the negative will be heard and understood as a critique of the person you are developing, not the skills in that person that you want to call out. My secret words are, “I want you to be successful.” If you can lead with these and, more importantly, live up to them with your time and courage to speak the truth, then you will build a lasting connection. There are many ways to work on building a relationship. Putting time and energy into developing them is a solid start. Active listening will also build a stronger tie to the person you are developing.

3. Share Something Practical - They want to be successful and you need to share with them the pathway to that success. Sadly, you know a lot and it is likely to come across like drinking from a fire hose: too much, too soon. It is not about what you know, but how they can learn.  Think about the questions you had when you were new, not the rarefied ones that that move you know. Basic things like skills to develop, people to know, how to be present in every meeting. That will be enough, and it will establish a safe and comfortable foundation from which to share all of the other great things you have to share. I have a few suggestions for these first meetings at the first meeting with a new direct report. It is also helpful to have them do some work before that first session. This is a questionnaire I use before coaching and can easily be adapted to their position and your expectations.

4. Build a Constructive and Supportive Feedback Environment -  This is essential and all of the work that you’ve put into this process will be wasted if you don’t carefully build a safe environment in which you can give affirming and corrective feedback that can be heard, understood and valued. This link will take you to some suggestions for building the environment and giving feedback.

5. Develop a Plan – Finally, it all comes down to the plan. A written agreement between you and them on what they will be working on. There are suggestions for this in the two guides mentioned above. But a specific tool I like to use combines work challenges, future directions, and external developments. You should use the goal development plan form as a guide to developing one that works for you, and more importantly them.

Leading Ways: Make it Safe

When leading a discussion on how to influence without authority, one thing I stress is the acronym OUT: Open Using Trust. At the heart of the suggestion is that if you begin a relationship or interaction with messages and signals that you can be trusted, it typically leads to a virtuous spiral of reciprocal trusting signals, actions, and deeds. From there you can form a much deeper relationship in which you can influence and be influenced by your collaborator. But what are these signals and actions that can prompt such a desired state?

I believe this is an area that humans have selected for over the millennia as our biology changed to accommodate our increasingly social reality of living in groups; first families, then tribes and then villages. As we moved away from those that we were familiar with and knew well from accumulated face to face interactions and started going to a neighboring tribe or meeting strangers on a trail, we looked for cues about our safety in this new situation. Basically, could we trust this stranger. So, it is not surprising that many of the ways to send the message “you are safe with me” are pretty rudimentary, but I think all the more powerful because they are deeply innate.

There are undoubtedly many of these cues and I suspect many of them are below our level consciousness. But here are four platforms with four suggestions in each that I find useful in developing an environment of safety and building a relationship of trust. For you to use these effectively you will need to make them yours in your own distinctive way. They are intended more as prompts for your development, not discrete behavioral rules.

Basics

1. You cannot get any more fundamental in building a safe environment than getting eye contact correct. Too much, too intense or too cold and it will come across as an effort to intimidate. Totally absent and “shifty” and it comes across as trying to hide from engagement, or too weak to be a partner. Suggestions are: do a little give and take in who is the dominant partner (this means looking away a bit when they are speaking). Let your face be positive (that means smile, softly) and practice looking directly at the person when you are speaking to them for at least half of the time you are talking. Take a day and monitor your eye contact, take note of how much you did the above and set a simple goal for the next day to improve one dimension. Practice it until you are better and then take another dimension and work on it.

2. Related to eye contact is open, comfortable and appropriate body language for most situations this means sitting up straight, facing the individual, open arms, some hand movement, comfortable legs placement, occasional movement in toward them and doing all of this with welcoming eye contact while speaking and doing all of this in a way that you do not appear to be an automaton or threatening to your partner. The best way to get an idea or two about improvement is to get a recording of how you participate in a group or ask someone to record you without you being aware. There will be more than enough to improve. Just ask yourself when viewing it, what could I do to look more comfortable and engaging to the other person. Less impactful but still helpful would be to have someone observe and give you feedback.

3. I’ve already mentioned connecting your eye contact with a smile, but independently this sends a message to others that you are safe, and that this is a safe place to be more open. Sometimes smiles can look a little perfunctory or forced as if someone had read a leadership blog telling them to smile. To avoid this, I try to do these things. When I first encounter someone, say a desk clerk at a hotel or a person I’m interviewing for the first time, I make eye contact and then take a deeper breath than usual with a little pause, just a fraction of a second, then I smile and I think that sends the subtle message that I see them as an individual and that I’m glad to be there talking with them. If I want this little drama to take on more depth, I might make a statement, “I hope your day had been sunny” or even better, “what is something you learned today?” I have never received anything but nicer smiles and some very interesting comments.

4. Last in the basics is something that has become a bit sensitive these days: touching. If nothing else we are a branch of the higher primates, and as a genus, touching rituals are a part of what we have done for a while. But no one wants to be a creepy Uncle Donald, so it needs some thought and consideration. As an older male, I now think I have incorporated waiting a bit longer until the relationship has developed, only reaching out if others have and at times checking to make sure I’m not upsetting someone, either by asking or observing. If you think you touch as a part of connecting, ask a person you are close to if it seems to be too much.

Stage Setting

1. If I want to message that this is a safe place for an individual or a group, something I want to project from the start is a positive and constructive climate. This does not mean being overly saccharine, wildly optimistic or blind to real problems that are present. It does mean putting issues and concerns in perspective, calling attention to the power we have when we collectively face things, drawing our memories to past success and being appropriately upbeat and energetic. If we begin interactions lamenting the situation, pointing to the dismal prospects of success, and raising fear, we might as well ask our colleagues to turn their cortisol pumps to full blast, hunker down, withdraw effort and be silent. The spiral down to distrust and despair will have begun. Keep to the high road.

2. I trust those I know or identify with, so common ground, is a powerful way to start and build safety which leads to higher levels of trust.  Sometimes the common ground should be obvious, the same team, same organization, same profession, etc. While it should be obvious, you will need to be the constant cheerleader for this, because the last thing you want to be doing is reminding them of the common ground ten minutes before you ask for a heroic sacrifice from them. But common groundworks with new acquaintances and strangers as well. It is amazing how trust goes up when you are in the same profession, went to the same school, had similar childhoods, both follow that team, find that jewelry interesting, think this current development is creative or enjoy a rainy day. Some of it seems really silly, but I have seen otherwise deeply rational and suspicious humans come together to play a team game in which sacrifice was essential for no more reason than I called them Team A or gave them yellow caps to wear. It is all around us, use it.

3. Often the relationship is likely to be long term and I want to quickly and efficiently connect with the person on a deeper level. I find the following question to be pretty magical: “Hey, before we start (the interview, coaching, working on a project, making a decision) tell me some more about yourself.” I let them decide if it’s professional or personal and how deep to go, and it’s never more than a few minutes. If they start with personal, then it is easy to go up to professional and fill that in as well. If they start with professional and you feel that is could go deeper into personal, ask them. I’ve never had anyone refuse this request (it always is asked with real curiosity and a smile.) Just about everyone is happy to be seen and known by others, even if they may not think so. Invariably I hear something that lets me connect to them and build that common ground.

4. One thing that I have discovered about most humans is that they relate best to other humans. Openness, smiling and being positive help with all of this. But another thing I like to establish early in the relationship is my personal fallibility. The person that projects perfection and unerring skill is a person that I will be suspicious of. I love competence, hard work, and great results. But I trust people that can offer what I call a “weak reed confession.” First of all, that lets me know they are self-aware; we all have weaknesses. Second, it lets me know they are human. It helps me build that common ground.

Listening

1. The key to great listening is remembering that its definition is not “waiting to talk” but active engagement. I find the question above in Stage Setting #3, not only primes them to be more open but helps me set my focus on them in a powerful way. I am much keener to hear about them than I am to hear the answer to the first business question. It creates a virtuous exchange of listening and connecting that builds as we go back and forth. Maintain your curiosity in them and what they say.

2. It is important to let them know you are listening to my moving your head in a positive way, giving little affirmations and keeping a few things in your head or in your notes to follow up with once they have finished a thought. I think note-taking is a great way to indicate you are engaged, but don’t let your notes become more important than what they are saying.

3. Don’t interrupt. And when you do, make it about them not about you. Ask them questions that let them enlarge, explore and go deeper with what they are saying. Don’t interrupt to tell them how much you know.

4. Ask good questions. Some of my favorites are: “Can you say some more about that?” “What does that mean to you?” and from above, “What did you learn from that?” Make sure that the questions do not take on the tone of the grand inquisitor, rarely a way to make it safer. You can push harder for answers once they are a bit more secure.

Keep it Going

1. To keep people feeling safe I think it is important to create a culture of gratitude. You can thank too many people for too little and inadvertently spawn the thank your equivalent of the soccer trophy organization, so be judicious and focused. But let people know that you see and appreciate their efforts, value working with them, and appreciate their openness, candor, and honesty when it is given. All of this tells them you value a safe place for them and for you.

2. Once the team, unit, the organization is safe and trusting you can message the growing depth of your trust in them by challenging and stretching them to new, higher goals. When they know you want them to be successful and they trust you, you will eventually lose some of that trust if you do not push them to grow.

3. To keep the group building the collective trust the leader has to make sure that everyone is in the pool. As teams develop it is quite natural for some members to get the work faster, take some aspects of it deeper and seem to add more to the enterprise. This should completely to be expected. But the leader must circle round to those that need a little more help in order to make their best contributions. The performers will be fine without the extra attention.

4. If you have gotten this far and the team is a safe and trusting place, just be sure that it is also fun. Light, good-natured kidding is always a good sign for me that a team is a safe place, particularly when there is a fair amount of self-deprecating humor. Honest laughter is a good sign that relationships are solid, and the climate is open and trusting.

From individual relationships to teams, more work will be done and done better, and higher goals will be reached for and achieved in environments that are safe and trusting than when fear, trepidation and anxiety rein.  

Leading Ways: Influencing Up

A Big Challenge

One of the trickiest and most necessary of all tasks facing leaders is how to lead up. Many people do not even think of this as a leadership responsibility or, if it is, it’s not theirs but their boss’s. But leading up is critical in order to influence your boss and others that are “up” in the organization, and to properly position your work for organizational, team, and individual success. 

Many shy away from this work because it strikes them as something that looks like self-promotion, feels a little slimy, or because they are just not good at it. If you are trying to lead by only influencing down or out, then you are a third less effective than if you skillfully work the last dimension: influencing up. 

 Here are a few keys for effectively leading up directly to the person you work with and more generally in the organization. 

1. Be self-aware– This is a valuable place to start in any leadership endeavor, but when leading up there are some special considerations to keep in mind. First is your attitude about leading up. Yes, it probably is your boss’s job to get your input, and yes, the higher ups could be clearer about the direction of the organization and more consistent in their actions, but if you are going to influence up, blaming them for their shortcomings and being resentful is not a good place to begin. Rather, think through how to get from them what you need:  clarity, a chance for input or consistency, whatever will help you advance your leadership agenda to make the organization better. 

2. Know their style– It is essential to be clear about how the up folks like to communicate, receive new proposals, learn bad news and brain storm. Everyone is different and the more you align how you present it with how they like to hear it, the more successful you will be. You can be too creative when you are leading up, so save that for when you have the opportunity to expand the idea.

3.  You need to push– Working well with others is an important quality for a leader in any organization. But if you are influencing up and hoping to advance an idea you need to actively push this agenda and send a strong message that you are the person who can make this change happen. There are a lot of ideas and a lot of people advancing them, why should the people up in the organization choose you? You are selling, they are buying; the onus is on you to make the case, not for them to understand.

4.  Frame it big– When you have been working on something for a period and are presenting it up in the organization most likely it will be something that you understand better than anyone else around. It has become an important part of your life and you want to share all of the details of this with others. They don’t care. They assume you know the details and they do not need to, what they want to know is what this will solve, how it fits with the bigger strategy, how it will make things better. And most of these are not in the details.  A specific reminder on this point is to not to get lost in overly technical language and acronyms. 

5.  Just the facts- Always have hard numbers around the costs and benefits of the proposal. It is fine to have a best and worst-case scenario, but do not color this in any way. Be objective.

6.  Stepping on toes- Understand the broader political context of your proposal from its impact on other parts of the company to how it will be seen by other individuals not immediately involved. Regardless of how right you are, someone will have to take a political hit when you get the go ahead.

7.  Run it up the flag pole (but not the one out front)- Before presenting or even beginning to advance an idea pressure test it with your staff, others from the outside and senior people who may not be a part of the decision process, but who have good judgment and political sensitivity. 

8. Get gradual buy-in- Pre-sell or shop a general concept to test how those that you need to influence will receive it. This will give you intelligence about what they believe are the important issues, current pressures on them, insights into the competition and an early warning on possible objections. It also gives you a chance to enhance relationships with all of them.

9.   Welcome a conversation- During the formal presentation it is important to not over sell, over discuss from your perspective and fail to register the cues you are getting from them. The idea is to get it out in a general way, giving them the pros and cons and then allow them to have the space to explore their concerns with you. Ask for feedback. Engaged questioning is a better sign than uncritical acceptance. 

Leading Ways: Feedback

Most of us want to improve the quality and efficiency of our work. Central to this improvement is receiving feedback. If you are a manager or leader you are in the crucial position of providing this feedback. You have to have some help in this. The person you are working with needs the basic skills and ambitions needed to advance in the organization. And the organization itself needs to value this improvement and provide the structures advance the individual’s effort, such as annual reviews, promotion opportunities and appreciation of effort. 

The role of the supervisor however is crucial and is often needed to make up for shortcomings in the individual or the organization. Creating a positive feedback environment is critical to this management role. 

How to Create a Positive Feedback Environment

Long before specific feedback is given it is helpful for managers and leaders to work toward the creation of a positive feedback environment. Such an environment creates the shared expectation that everyone involved is on the team and the team has a shared goal, values, culture and expectations. The leader is the principal coach in establishing such an environment, but when it is successful, everyone is coaching everyone else, offering supportive and appreciative comments and, when needed helping think through how to improve the situation or address a problem. 

Creating such an environment requires continuous action by the leader until the team can make the culture belong to them. Here are five elements that are important to such a culture: 

Clear sense of purpose and common ground– All teams and work groups need this as the first step. Without both elements, they can’t answer basic questions such as “Where are we going?”  and “What is in this for me?” or “How will success be measured?” It is the leader’s job to facilitate this conversation and keep it going forward as new things arise and situations change. 

Acceptance of every individual– Most people come to new ventures with some anxiety about acceptance and performance. Some of this is constructive and produces effort, but it is important for the team leader to create an environment of acceptance and trust. Otherwise it will difficult to coach in a situation without it seeming judgmental at the personal level. This leads to defensiveness, cover-ups, and emotional outbursts, as the feedback seems more personal than professional. The ideal place to be is, “We are in this together and it is in all of our interests to address the problem.” 

Two-Way nature of most situations- Almost every situation and dynamic in an organization that is problematic and requires feedback has two sides. Unfortunately, most of the two sides discussions we have are focused on fixing the blame on one side or the other. The famous he said – she said dynamic. There are situations where one person or group has acted in a unilateral and conscious manner to be dishonest or harm another or subvert a process, and these should be dealt with accordingly. However, for the vast majority of problems the two-sides perspective points to the reality that each side has contributed something to the situation and these elements need to be teased out and addressed.

Expectation of improvement– Every person on the team, including the leader must go into the situation with the expectation that a better job can always be done and that is possible if everyone is helping everyone else improve. This means feedback goes in all directions.

Sanctions on individuals who remain outside the culture - Nothing will kill a feedback culture faster than a rogue individual who is left to create discord. This does not mean everyone has to agree, far from it. It does mean that individual behaviors that are inconsistent with a constructive feedback culture- unwillingness to share in feedback, vindictiveness when feedback is given, using feedback to make personal attacks-are addressed immediately. Without such attention from the leader all of the other efforts to create a culture will be for naught, worse they will seem hypocritical and bring out cynicism in others.

Giving Feedback

Remember, a constructive feedback culture goes both ways. So, learning how to both give and receive feedback is essential. Here are some general rules to keep in mind when giving feedback:

Be Confidential – Feedback is always given in private and it is a conversation between you and the person receiving the feedback. Do not bring a lot of other people into this conversation by representing their feelings or attitudes.  

Be Supportive – The point of the feedback is improvement so that the person receiving it can improve and be successful in a work setting. Being non-judgmental is a major part of this. Be encouraging and non-threatening. Attacking in anyway will just make the person you want to influence defensive, resentful and likely to not hear any of the things you want to say. 

Be Clear– If it is important to offer feedback, then it is important to be clear about what you want to say. Here are some steps to clarity:

• Think about it before hand

•  Share it with another person, someone totally outside of the work setting

•  Question your own motivations in giving the feedback

• Imagine what the outcome is you would like

 Be Timely– Nothing is worse than waiting until the annual review to give feedback on something that was important but happened six months ago. While it is important to be timely, it is also wise to remember to give yourself some time to cool off if the item of feedback you want to share has brought out an emotional response in you. 

Be able to speak from a non-emotional, but caring space – This may be the most challenging element in giving feedback, but it is essential. If you are still “steaming” about something, you have to regain your composure before you engage in feedback, nothing constructive will be gained and there is the real potential for damage, wasted time and even bigger problems. Step away, wait a day, cool down, think about it and what you want to achieve, but then have the courage to re-engage. 

Be Focused on a Specific Behavior or Situation– General feedback is generally a fuzz ball when the feedback giver is uncomfortable with what needs to be said. Just say it, a clear, short non-judgmental message opens the door for a conversation to solve the problem. Anything else opens the door to lack of clarity, emotional response and inappropriate escalation of the significance of the problem. 

Describe, don’t judge- Your job is to raise the issue and broaden the understanding. If you have already decided what caused the problem and what needs to be done, then you are not giving feedback you are passing judgment. This is where the famous “I” statements can help. You don’t give up your opinion or what you have observed, but you are signaling that it is only one perspective and you are inviting them in to share their view. Remember to not generalize or make absolutist statements such as “You always do that.” Don’t make a simple situation worse by overreacting. 

Direct the feedback to changeable behavior- Observing that someone might be smarter about something is not really helpful feedback. Observing that they were quick in making a judgment and reacting and that others and you seemed to be offended by this action is an observation they can consider and perhaps do something about. 

Don’t lead with advice– Feedback is not advice giving. It is sharing observations about a situation. After that is understood and valued, then it is possible to guardedly offer advice. In a constructive feedback culture the advice is generally asked for right away. A helpful question for the feedback giver at the outset of feedback is, “Are you getting the results you want from this approach?” Let the other person answer and then quiet naturally ask if there are alternatives. 

Check it, briefly–It is quite all right to check to see if the feedback is understood but do so briefly. After two checks the questioning becomes abusive as in “What part of this don’t you understand.”

Remember that constructive feedback is always given to help the individual who is receiving it. The more the feedback comes across as supportive and helpful, then the more successful it will be. This does not mean that continued inattention does not require more specific requests for change from the manager, leader or co-worker. But such a response should always be reserved until needed. 

A Word on Different Types of Reviews

Annual reviews are an important opportunity to look at the big picture from the past year and to do some planning for the coming year. They should stay at this level, except when specific goals for past year are assessed mutually and those for the coming year are set. The annual review is not a good time for feedback. If it was important in June, it should have been given at the time, not in March when the annual reviews are held. A development plan has some of the annual review and goal setting of an annual review but is more focused on personal professional growth and should become a way for activity and reinforcement to be shaped throughout the year. 

Leading Ways: Mediating Conflicts

Invariably the best of managers and leaders find themselves in a position of having to mediate issues between two direct reports that have gotten sideways. It is important not to get in a series of separate conversations with the parties. You will wind up in the middle of the conflict. This is a no-win situation.

It is always best to avoid these situations by making sure that goals, roles and key processes – communication, decision making and accountabilities- are clear, consistent and continually reinforced. My experience is that while leaders believe that all of these matters are clear, they often are not and touchy concerns like roles, decision authority, and accommodation of other’s needs are often glossed over or ignored.

But even with these preventative matters well in place, things can go off track. 

It will be inevitable that the conflict will come to your attention in a one-on-one conversation with one of the parties. Do your best to listen, ask questions for clarification, pass no judgment and indicate that you would like to discuss the situation one-on-one with the other person involved. Again, in this second conversation you are there to ask, listen and learn. 

Then it is time to convene the two parties. This will be a challenging meeting, but here are some things that can help. 

First send out a set of rules prior to the meeting. Here are some that I like to go out ahead of time as a way of setting the stage for a productive discussion:

•  I want us to have a chance for and open and honest exchange that is safe for all of us. 

•  This means listening to each other, focusing on the problems and issues not each other, withholding judgment and maintaining civility.

•  I would like us to be able to identify, agree and focus on one problem at a time, if multiple problems are related, we can identify them and still focus one particular problem or issue at a time. It may help to think through issues that are important to you beforehand and write them down.

•  I will go in to our meeting assuming that all of us are motivated by good intentions and invite you to do the same.

• My goal at the meeting will be for us to have a shared understanding of the problem or issue and for us to come up with ideas of how we can address these as we go forward. If it is possible, I would like to leave the meeting with a better appreciation of each other’s positions and understandings. As well, my aim will be to help us get to some specific, positive next steps that we can all take and support of improving this situation. 

•   I hope we can all come to the meeting with some genuine curiosity and seek to improve your understanding of the dynamics that have gotten us to where we are.

At the meeting try to maintain complete neutrality and to model the kind of curiosity that you have suggested they bring to the meeting. You will need to actively moderate the discussion. Do not allow personal attacks and be sure to call out all judgments for what they are. Try to keep them focused to facts, not how they interpret the facts. 

If things do get too emotional, and they can, you may need to suggest that the discussion stop for the day and reconvene, but make sure you summarize what progress they have made and also offer some thoughts about next steps.

If you do get some progress on having them understand each other and the problems better, make sure you reserve 15 minutes or so at the close of the meeting to focus on practical action steps that all parties, including you, can take to make sure this works well as we go forward. A commitment to a small test of changed behavior is much better than a promise to “change everything.” I would suggest that you offer to draft a summary of the conclusion, share this in an email and ask them for their input. This should then be the basis for the next meeting.

The next steps are rinse and repeat until there are clear and accepted rules for behavior, hopefully some acceptance and understanding and a lowering of tensions

Also, after this first meeting, all future discussions of these issues need to involve all of the concerned individuals or you will be back in the middle.  

You can use the same approach if you find yourself mediating between two peers on a team. It just requires that you alter your role a bit to be more collegial